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I’ve been reading this book and it has really opened my eyes to the spiritual warfare that is going on in my life.  I have always been struggling with sin and trying to give it up to God, but never quite understanding how.  This book has been a really great read and confirms that there is something bigger going on and we need to depend on God, put on our armor, and combat it.  Definitely recommend it, we all struggle and Beth Moore does an amazing job in writing about it.
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Tests

So yesterday, I took a quiz and did better than I ever have on a quiz for that class.  I was surprised because I hadn’t studied.  I noticed something different about this time though, I prayed the entire time through it.  The other times I took a quiz I studied for them and depended upon my ability to study and not God.  I related this more to my life and realized that I always try to trust in my own ability to do something and not God.  I feel like a fail all of the tests He presents before me and maybe that’s because I study and know what I can do, but don’t trust in Him.  Trusting in Him is so important for everything.  

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Unfinished Projects

My whole life has been made up of unfinished projects.  I was thinking about this on my drive to class yesterday.  It seems as though I have never seen a fully completed project.  I always start something, but then I lose my motivation to finish.  I go in determined, but come out fizzled.  This is how my Spiritual life is too.  Everyday I try to start over and be a better person, but find myself never finishing.  I just back out and give up.  I am so grateful that I serve a God who is the King of Completed Projects.  When I sin and fall short, as we all often do, He is there to put back the pieces.  If I did this on my own, I would not even be able to put half of myself back together.  He makes me whole though.  Now as I look at my life, instead of seeing unfinished projects, I look at it as depending on a God who never fails to make it to the finish.   

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We were talking tonight at my church about faith.  We read Mark 5:21-43 and then discussed it.  The key thing that kept coming up was the woman and parent’s faith in Christ to heal them.  It made me think about my faith in God to heal and how I only come to Him in my desperation.  He needs to be the first choice, because He has proven Himself faithful over and over.  I need to stop letting circumstances dictate whether or not I have faith in Him and start putting Him first.  
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Just finished reading this book!  (Crazy Love by Francis Chan)  It was so convicting and is really making me take my life into consideration that maybe I am not as in love with God as I need to be.  Totally recommend it!

Feeling Dry

I have been neglecting my quiet time recently and at first I shrugged it off claiming I was to busy.  However, I always found time to watch hours of TV.  I figured out that it is because I have not been wanting to spend this special time with The Lord.  This breaks my heart to say, but I am being honest.  I love God and truly believe in Him.  I just feel dry as if my overflowing cup has run out.  I’m not really sure.  I feel as though everything I thought I was doing in the Lord has been thrown aside, that it was worthless.  I keep thinking maybe I’m not truly giving myself up to the Lord.  I’m holding back a piece of me that I can’t seem to let go of.  This is so rough on my relationship with Him.  I know everyone goes through this at some point and I am doing my best to turn to God in this situation.  He’s so wonderful and I can’t believe that I’m trying to shrug off our time together.

If you need someone to talk to or have any prayer requests, let me know.  

Love always and God bless,

inChristaloneforever