My whole life has been made up of unfinished projects. I was thinking about this on my drive to class yesterday. It seems as though I have never seen a fully completed project. I always start something, but then I lose my motivation to finish. I go in determined, but come out fizzled. This is how my Spiritual life is too. Everyday I try to start over and be a better person, but find myself never finishing. I just back out and give up. I am so grateful that I serve a God who is the King of Completed Projects. When I sin and fall short, as we all often do, He is there to put back the pieces. If I did this on my own, I would not even be able to put half of myself back together. He makes me whole though. Now as I look at my life, instead of seeing unfinished projects, I look at it as depending on a God who never fails to make it to the finish.
I have been neglecting my quiet time recently and at first I shrugged it off claiming I was to busy. However, I always found time to watch hours of TV. I figured out that it is because I have not been wanting to spend this special time with The Lord. This breaks my heart to say, but I am being honest. I love God and truly believe in Him. I just feel dry as if my overflowing cup has run out. I’m not really sure. I feel as though everything I thought I was doing in the Lord has been thrown aside, that it was worthless. I keep thinking maybe I’m not truly giving myself up to the Lord. I’m holding back a piece of me that I can’t seem to let go of. This is so rough on my relationship with Him. I know everyone goes through this at some point and I am doing my best to turn to God in this situation. He’s so wonderful and I can’t believe that I’m trying to shrug off our time together.
If you need someone to talk to or have any prayer requests, let me know.
Love always and God bless,
Yesterday was Valentine’s day and while I did not have someone special to spend it with, I was not disappointed in the love all around. I read a blog post the other day about how as Christians we should come off as content in Christ and not complain about being single to all the social world. I really took this to heart. I struggle with being content in Christ, but for the first time in what seems like forever, yesterday, I was. I ran into a friend at school, who I hardly ever see anymore. It was nice to chat with her for a few minutes. After that I went shopping with another friend for her boyfriend’s valentine’s day gift. My mom just had brain surgery and I went in to see her and got to talk with my grandma for a little bit. I came home to end my day by watching a movie with my dad. I will admit that at some of these times I was sad that I didn’t have someone there to talk about or do all of these things with, but I found a deeper faith in God.
We love Him because He first loved us. -1 John 4:19
There really is no greater love. While singleness is hard, it’s not something to complain about. One day of the year seems harder than the rest, but being content in God is so much better than any person has to offer us. I am so grateful God revealed this to me yesterday.